Being a service provider isnt easy and it isnt tough too, as long as you are strict with your terms and dont run after customers or money. Going through the live chat and toll free call records, I find a lot of customers asking pretty weird questions. Common, you shouldn’t be over-expecting and should understand technology. And if you dont understand tech, then you should surely avoid asking such questions as well. Well, here is the list I have compiled so you know, what you should avoid next time, before asking anything to your service provider.

What will be my actual speed ?

Your ISP cannot answer this, they aint god. They can only tell you about your connectivity speeds. Your speeds should always be up 80% of your connectivity speeds. If it drops to less than 80% for more than 24 hours, then you should be complaining, not before that. What if I ask you, “how much your car exactly giving the mileage” or “what exact volume of water are you going to drink today”, can you answer them ?

What exact speeds do you offer ?

Your ISP should only tell about your connectivity speeds like “UPTO 10Mbps” or likewise. Here the UPTO explains it all. If your ISP is doing some kind of promises, or committing something, then stay away. He is just trying to win a customer, with some fake commitments. If I ask you, “what exact time are you going to sleep tonight”, can you answer exactly ? No, right ?

Will your speed stay constant throughout the day ?

Plain and straight answer – NO, it depends on various factors. Your speeds should always be up 80% of your connectivity speeds. If it drops to less than 80% for more than 24 hours, then you should send a support ticket to your ISP. Even Sachin Tendulkar cannot answer if he can score a century in every match.

What will be the exact latency or ping to those servers or games ?

If you find an ISP, who is committing you latency, then you should pretty much shoot him on his head. No bloody god can guarantee you latency. Latency isnt son to any father or mother, for god sake. Latency depends on the undersea cable, routing, round trips, what not. Do you really understand those complex things ? If no, please avoid asking this to your ISP. But yeah, the ISP can surely guarantee you a standard latency if you are a 5 figure paying customer for the ISP. That comes under premium leased circuit. Broadband is 100 times cheaper than that, so kindly avoid asking this. You will simply get what you are getting, you cannot question the ISP.

Why my download speed is low while speedtest is showing perfect ?

Your ISP doesnt own the servers, from where you are downloading. So, ISP cannot tell you about your download speed if you are downloading from a singapore server or USA server. Your ISP is answerable till their connectivity speeds, which you can test at www.speedtest.net

Will your service uptime be 100% ?

Like I said, ISP aint god. Stop overexpecting. The ISP will try to stay up 100% of course, but there are still factors, which can happen anytime and take down the services.

Will you send someone immediately during outage ?

NO, unless you are paying for the priority service charges, like you pay to BSNL employees or your D2H support staff. If you aint paying that, and getting free onsite support, dont expect someone to reach you immediately. It always happens in a queue. Everyone is important, not only you.

Will you deduct money, if my internet was down for few hours/days last month ?

NO, because residential broadband doesnt come with any kind of SLA or service agreement. It does come with leased circuit, where is the SLA uptime % is not met, then the invoice gets some discount. But it doesn’t happen for home broadband.

Will your team do my in house cabling before getting the connection active ?

No, the ISP are trained professionals, not your local electrician. You will need to call your local electrician to do that for you, and pay for his time.

Can you customize the plan as per my requirements ?

Absolutely not. Even if its Narendra Modi or Sachin Tendulkar or Lionel Messi, customization is strictly not allowed for residential broadband. You have to choose from the available plans only.

Can you see my computer, why its running slow internet ?

No, for that you need to call a computer support person and pay for his time. And first off, you shouldn’t be using a 1990 windows XP or VISTA PC on your high speed internet. Your drivers and LAN cards have already gave up to 1990 world cup finals.

Why my download is in Kbps while my plan is Mbps ?

You will need to google the internet speeds maths before asking this question. Your ISP isnt your maths teacher.

Can you make some discount for me ?

NO, unless you are a leased circuit client, paying good and helping the ISP with their economics.

Can you allow me not to pay service taxes and just receive my payment in cash ?

No, illegal transactions are not allowed. Its mandatory to pay the service tax.

Can you match pricing with that tom/dick/harry ISP ?

No. If you liked the pricing of the other ISP at the first place, what was the reason you came to us ? There must be a reason right ? So, thats the exact reason, why we would not match or try to compete anyone.